The Israel supporter and the sandwich
The Israel supporter and the sandwich
Caitlin Johnstone

The Israel supporter and the sandwich

An Israel supporter walks up to a guy at a restaurant, grabs his sandwich, starts eating it.

Israel supporter: [Walks up to a guy at a restaurant, grabs his sandwich, starts eating it.]

Guy: Hey!

Israel supporter: What?

Guy: That’s my sandwich!

Israel supporter [still eating]: Sandwich? What sandwich?

Guy: Right there! You’re eating it right now!

Israel supporter: No I’m not.

Guy: Oh my God! You’re standing right in front of me eating my sandwich! I can see you doing it with my own eyes!

Israel supporter [finishing sandwich]: Nope. Never happened.

Guy: You owe me another sandwich you prick! You stole from me!

Israel supporter: So you’re saying Jews steal? That’s an anti-semitic canard!

Guy: What?? I didn’t even know what religion you are! I’m just mad you stole my sandwich and ate it right in front of me!

Israel supporter: That never happened. Or if it did happen it wasn’t me. Or if it was me I had to do it because another guy did something that left me no choice, so you should blame him.

Guy: Gah!!

Israel supporter: Actually come to think of it I’m beginning to suspect maybe YOU ate MY sandwich.

Guy: How is this happening? This is ridiculous!

Israel supporter: Again with the Jew hating!

Guy: Why the hell do you keep babbling about Jews?? This has nothing to do with Jews! This is about you personally and the specific thing you just did!

Israel supporter: Okay Hitler. [Steals silverware on the table, exits.]

Caitlin’s Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

The views expressed in this article may or may not reflect those of Pearls and Irritations.

Caitlin Johnstone

Please support Pearls and Irritations with your tax deductible donation

This year, Pearls and Irritations has again proven that independent media has never been more essential.
The integrity of our media matters - please support Pearls and Irritations.
For the next month you can make a tax deductible donation through the Australian Cultural Fund. Please click here to donate.